Missing Home!

While I am excited about God's plans for me, I must be honest and admit that I do miss home!  At times I am overwhelmed with my emotions and I realize that I have to be honest with myself.  I often talk about my spiritual journey here in Phoenix, but I am also on a journey to becoming fully human.  This journey causes me to realize that I can't escape from my human feelings.  Recently, God reminded me of this and I had to really repent from trying to.  I am human and I know I can't deny that if I want to be true to God, myself, and others.

Last week, my bff from childhood loss her father.  Of course, I wish I could have been there with her and the rest of the family.  Her family is just like family to me and I love them very much.  This week (following her dad's funeral service on Saturday) her mom's sister passed away.  Her mother is very dear to me (like a mother) and my heart is so full for her.  I know she's a God fearing woman, but I also know this is a very hard time for her.  Once again, I'm sad that I am unable to be there with the family.  And while they are extended family, it really makes me miss home!

I miss all my biological and non-biological family! I miss my nephew, Triston.  He was almost two years old when I moved back home in 2000.  Now he's about to go to high school!  I can hardly believe it.  I've watched him grow over the years! I miss his hugs and kisses!  He ran track for the first time this spring and I wasn't there to see him!  He recently received an award for being an academic scholar this school year! I am so proud of him!  I miss my two year old niece, Starr, who learned to say my name after I moved to Phoenix, and is talking more and more each day.  I miss all my girlfriends who I used to meet for dinner and just have girl talk (you know who you are)!   I miss my dog, BeBe!:-)  She has a new family now that loves her and is taking good care of her!  She is the sweetest dog ever!  I miss my Brock family and students! I miss my brothers and sisters in Christ back home!  I miss my hairstylist and our talks at the shampoo bowl or in her chair! I miss my ELAKO (East Louisiana Kairos Outside) family!  I miss my Prison Fellowship family at RCC (Rayburn Correctional Center)!  I miss all my friends who were a part of my life back in Louisiana (you know who you are)! There is no place like home!

Although this journey gets hard sometimes, God continues to remind me that my sufferings are only temporary and that my latter will be greater!  I know He will never leave me nor forsake me.  I appreciate all of you for your prayers and support!  Please continue to pray my strength through this journey! I AM HIS!

I'm in Love!!!

Yes, I’ve fallen in love, AGAIN and I want the world to know!!  It’s real, unconditional, true love! I’ve known Him for a while now.  He’s someone I can lean and depend on for anything! He’s my everything! I can’t imagine living life without Him!  I’m sure you know who He is! His name is JESUS!  I first fell in love with him back in 1997 during what I called my six month “reconstruction period”.  It was a time when I deliberately spent six months seeking Him for a more intimate relationship.  During that six months, I experienced the love of Christ like never before.  I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Him, and only wanted what He had for me!  I’m back in that place again!!!!! He is my everything and I know I can’t make it without Him!  I want only and all that He has for me and has promised me!  I love my life in Christ right now! It’s a life of simplicity and obedience.  I may not have everything that I think I want, but I do have everything that He knows I need!

I love serving as a Caregiver!  I know that I’m doing what God desires of me at this time.  He constantly let’s me know this through the people that I’m serving.  On my second night of my new job, I went in to get one of my residents up to go to the restroom.  Usually, she’s a little resistant to the other caregivers, but she was very cooperative with me.  After using the restroom, I helped her back to bed.  As I was leaving out of the room, I heard her say, “Thank you God for sending her.  She is so nice.”  Of course, my eyes filled up with tears and I just gave God the glory!

I also love serving at my church (El Elyon International)!  I finally completed my new member’s class on today!  I have already begun serving on the Evangelism Team.  We recently went out for soul winning at an event here in Phoenix.  While out witnessing, God allowed me to first witness and pray for a young man named “Christian”.  While I know there are many  persons named Christian out there, I know this was a divine assignment.  Again, God confirmed to me that I was doing what He sent me there to do: to help win souls for the Kingdom!! I know I must obey God and do the work that He has assigned me.

I love studying at Phoenix Seminary!  This pass week was finals week and I’m off until summer begins on May 21^st!  TGBTG!!!!.  I am enjoying my studies and am looking forward to what’s to come.  While I don’t know exactly what God’s expected end is for me, I know that this is all part of His preparation.  I just want to be ready to do whatever He has predestined for me to do. 

Tonight during service, Pastor Mason reminded me that “My obedience is not optional”.  It is because of obedience that I am here in Phoenix, serving as a caregiver, serving at El Elyon International Church, and studying at Phoenix Seminary! In obedience, God sent me all the way to Phoenix, Arizona to fall in love with Him again! I love my life! I AM HIS!